Me. Wha! Where the hell am I?
Swineherd. Er, I’m not quite sure but we call it home my child.
Me. My child? You’re one of those godlings aren’t you. Couldn’t you do better than swineherd? Which one are you then?
Swineherd. I’m Porcinus and I don’t just have pigs, they gave me goats too. A little respect please.
Me. Hm, let’s see. It’s 5.01 am on a Sunday morning. I’m standing here in my dressing gown with a frost underfoot which is slowly spreading up my legs and you’re talking RESPECT. Why am I here and where’s that comedian Somnos?
Swineherd. I brought you here because I knew you’d want to thank us in person for the lie-in we allowed you today. Please don’t pet the pigs by the way, there was an unfortunate incident last week with a hand.
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